Loched in an Argument

"Oy! What's wiff all dat awful noise yer makin on me property?!"
"Noise? YER property?! Been drinkin' from the loch agin 'ave ye? You bloody idiot, this be the pipes yer slanderin'!"
"Aye, I am slanderin' whatever that be. I cannae stand the noise!"
I'll bash ye fookin' head in for this you blitherin' glob of tripe!"

Barfday proosint for
Who is late with my birthday present so I one up him by being on time with MINE *cackles maliciously*